Hospital Complaints

I went to the hospital yesterday for yet another out-patient appointment.

Firstly, I arrive early (10 mins) to make sure I am on time and that everything goes smoothly - but when does it ever?
It should be in my notes that I am a nervous patient - but once again, it wasn't, which highly frustrates me and pushing the anxiety levels through the roof. I get there and the waiting room is absolutely jam-packed - I had a bad feeling about this.
So I book in and about 10 minutes later the nurse come out and took my name and crossed it off the 'arrivals' list , I then asked her how long the approximate wait was going to be - it turns out that at that current time, they were running around an hour behind!!
Well, I was exhausted and felt unwell through no sleep the night before, so I told her I had another appointment at a different hospital at 13.05pm (My actual appointment time was 11.40am - it was 12pm already). So the nurse told me to find her at 11.50am to find out where I was on the list - I eventually found her at 12.15pm - and there were 5 people in front of me still, so the additional waiting time was going to be at least another hour, but I explained about this fake appointment I had at another hospital and she said she would bump me up the list if she could - eventually I got seen at 12.35pm - 55 minutes after my proper appointment time. But of course, by then I was so flustered, anxious and annoyed, I had totally forgotten what I needed to say to the Doctor and just sat there like a good little nodding dog just to get out of there as fast as possible!
This upset me a great deal and I am furious they can allow this to happen to a nervous patient.
I would have been there over 2 hours if I hadn't lied and said about the other appointment, which in itself is absolutely appalling.
I also do not see how it is possible to be kept waiting for so long, according to the nurses there were 3 Doctor's on duty and if they all did their job properly, the waiting time wouldn't have been so horrific! At one point I saw the Doctor standing in the corridor talking on his mobile phone for almost 10 minutes and flirting talking with the nurses for almost 10 minutes too - that's 20 minutes wasted - possibly 2 appointments (since mine only lasted for 5 minutes - with the Doctor using 3 of that searching for my scan results elsewhere).
Finally, the new Doctor I saw decided that an operation is the best option - finally, really getting somewhere.
I just cannot believe their appalling lack of respect and compassion...gone are the days of compassionate Doctors, now it is just about themselves money.

Interview Over

So, I have had the interview now and I am so pleased it is over.

Interview?? It was more like an interrogation. I didn't feel at ease at all, I had 2 women interviewing me and it felt like they were playing Good cop-Bad cop. I felt incredibly thick and stupid.

However, at the end of the interview, they always ask if you have any questions for them - and I did.

I am glad I asked them now - because it made up for feeling thick during the interview - Why? Because they DID NOT know the answers - Big smile!! People like that tend to think your are thick, until you can actually speak for yourself, without being directed to giving answers to their questions. It was nice to feel in control again, and hopefully, this will work in my favour.

Saying that, I learnt a bit more about the 'Job Description' and it turns out there is alot they did not describe in the actual Job listing - so I am concerned about this:

• It seems the Job may only be temporary (Giving hints to being only 3 months long) - which is very imperfect for me, I need stability and if they can't offer me that, it would be pointless to take the Job, as I can't do anything in regards to tribunal etc until I have been working there for a year (at least) and I would have alot to sort out again.
• There are additional tasks i did not know about that may be required - but I will also not get additional pay for, which is highly unfair.
• I get the impression that they are only looking for new idea's - and once they have got them, they will get rid of you (which again, they can do because of the loophole with the year thing)
• They didn't like the fact I only had 1 reference and it was from a 'family friend'.

I think Volunteering might be better suited to me, that way I can slide back into work slowly and it will get me the references I desperately need. 

We'll see though, I should hopefully hear back by the end of the week or next week, I am not confident I done too well though, I was so nervous and it showed - badly!

Interview Day!

Today is the big day - Interview Day!

I am so, so nervous it's untrue, but I am determined to make it through this.

Wish me luck - and watch this space!

Pre-Interview Nerves

It's almost Interview day - 36 hours to go and I am absolutely Bricking it!

I can't even remember the last time I actually went for a Job Interview - I am pretty sure it was 2003 and it was very informal really (it was shop work).

This one is obviously going to be a little more intense because of the Job itself - I will be handling confidential files and organising specific things, so there is the element of being very independent - and ensuring I don't cock-up! Understandably, I am as nervous as hell.

But, I am determined and will succeed - and this time, I will be in control of the nerves and not my nerves controlling me. Life has to change - I am not getting any younger and if I don't change my lifestyle now, I never will and I don't want to be 'set in my bad ways' - Life is for living and I have spent far too long as a recluse, time to make myself known to the world and achieve something I can be proud of.

I still want to fulfil that dream of going to Australia, I want to achieve this while I still have a little youth on my side - I want adventure, I crave it. I don't want to wake up some day, in my 30's (which isn't that far off now!) having never achieved my own personal dreams and goals, I aspire to be a better person - to give something to the world. My illnesses have and are stopping me to a degree, but I have never been more determined to overcome these and live my life how I want to, not how my fears tell me to.

I just have to remember my dreams and hopefully this will empower me to embrace the extreme nerves and live my dreams.

More news to follow...

Progression

I got some fantastically - eagerly awaited news today.

I have a Job interview for the one I applied for and I am absolutely over the moon.

I really want this Job and pray that I do get offered it.

So, Monday 26 March 2012 at 2pm - and it could change everything - for the better!!

Wish me luck - and watch this space for further news! :-D

One step closer

I handed in the Job Application form today.

I asked whether they have had many other applicants and they said they have only had a few, but as they are advertising 'In house', there will only be a limited interest, So I am seriously keeping my fingers crossed.

I should hear something within the next 2 weeks, regarding an interview - So, watch this space!!

Here's to new beginnings :-D

New Opportunities

So, I am applying for a job!

It's my dream job...well as close as it gets anyway.

I have filled in the Application form, now I just have to return it and hope for the best.

I really want this Job - the money isn't great, but the Job is perfect for me - and it's all about Job satisfaction, money is irrelevant. 

I also got some excellent news this week - my cousin has finally set her wedding date!

I really want to go - as the wedding is going to be big - they always are on my Dad's side of the family.

There is just one problem - I am Agoraphobic and the wedding is in Australia!!

How do I overcome this major issue? 

A new goal - to travel to Australia!

I have to work hard to make this happen and I only have about a year to do it. 

This year HAS to be about making changes - and I need to aspire to get the job I have applied for - i want this Job with a passion, it is not a necessity - it is an opportunity of a lifetime, like the Australia dream.

This way I can also save for the opportunity of a life time - to travel down under.

I will need to save at least £5,000 - aside from the flights, visas and spending money - I have no passport, no driving licence and most importantly - no suitcase!

So, no more shopping trips? Eeeek, What a scary prospect! - But I cannot miss out again, I have already sacrificed so much. 

So, watch this space - more to come!

Bad Habits

I have always had a bad habit of saying I will do something and then never doing it.
Well, I am changing - part of this Quarter's goal was to start clearing out my bedroom and finally, I have started to do this and have found I have more stuff than I thought I had!
This is no surprise though - but at least I can see the carpet now!
There is still a long way to go and that 'imaginary' box (I don't have one physically big enough!) is getting full of things to sell/give away or eventually throw out.
Hopefully, I am on target for the minimalistic look, if not it will still be close enough.
As for the goal of more exercise, this is a goal I have always failed and still am, although I am at a fitter level than ever before, there is always room for improvement - and this is no exception, I need to work a lot harder on this goal, I have no excuses other than pure laziness - I have the correct clothing and footwear (I have since December!), so I really need to get my arse into gear!
Perhaps I need a target, like running walking a marathon, so I have a purpose behind the exercise.
Exercise has always been a weak part of me, I loathe it, although lately, I have been trying to enjoy walking, I still find it incredibly dull (unless I am walking round the shops).
I am definitely a trier though, I very rarely give up at the first hurdle - I'm that persistent pain in the posterior!
Giving something up is never easy, but it is virtually impossible unless there is an intended goal at the end of it, but I always thought that was a little redundant - making a goal to achieve a goal seems retired and never-ending, but maybe that is just me.
I am starting to feel I need more structure to my goals and to question my goals a little better, like Why do I want a minimalistic look for my bedroom?' - I have thought about it and it's because when everything is tidy and organised, I feel more relaxed and comfortable and can sleep better - so maybe the goal would be to relax more and to do that I need to reorganise.
So, my intended goal is to relax more and in order to fulfil that goal one of the tasks I need to complete is reorganisation, rather the actual goal be reorganisation I will make it a task, a 'thing to do' rather than a goal.
Does that make sense? Probably not...

Summer Shopping (Already!)

I decided to go shopping today, with the intention of buying a few things for Spring/Summer and a few books I needed to advance my Family tree and learn more about the social history of my Ancestor's - I ended up with so much stuff, I don't know how I got home with it all!
I did get One book - The Biography of London by Peter Ackroyd - Looks very interesting (I hope it is too - it weighed a ton!).
Lot's of clothes too - all for Spring/Summer, which at the moment, appears to be well on it's way.
I think I spent around £120 - but that's not bad at all - I have come home with at least 20 tops, 8 pairs of trousers, new underwear, a pair of boots and a book.

I might be a Shopaholic - but I am getting thriftier - I took discount vouchers with me and bought everything in the sales. I may need to re-name the title of this blog!

My Wardrobes need some clearing out and re-arranging if I am going to be able to put my newest clothes away - they are already bursting to full - this was a few months ago - it's even worse now!

Resolution Issues

So, I started the task of embarking on a new and healthy diet yesterday and have had a major breakthrough.
I have realised - it is actually healthy food that is making me ill!
I spent 24 hours on a lower calorie diet, eating healthy food only - i felt so ill last night, I couldn't sleep and eventually nodded off, totally exhausted at 7am.
Today, I broke the diet and ate a few small chocolate biscuits and for dinner - chicken and chips, I still feel unwell - but no where near like I did last night and I actually had more energy!
Just to make sure it is not a fluke - I will try and do the healthy diet again tomorrow, but if I feel the same in the evening, I will certainly not be continuing with the healthy eating plan and will try and see a Doctor to see if they can tell me more.
It's very frustrating, I want to change my lifestyle but how can I when it is affecting my 'Quality of life'?
By the NHS standard, I am still 4st overweight - but what if I am not?
What if I am actually 'built' to be a certain weight (bigger than what is considered normal) and by attempting to change that will ruin me?
I don't feel unhealthy, fitness wise - I mean, I can't run miles and miles (Not everyone can) - but I can easily walk a mile now without stopping or feeling tired and puffed out (It used to take me 33 mins to walk a mile - I can do it in 11 mins, without stopping and at a faster pace!).
I walked a Mile today.
For now, the diet plans will be on hold somewhat - but I am still determined to do the exercise part of the plan to build up better fitness.
I have a rough plan of everything, but the best way of 'planning' is to take each day one at a time.

Let the resolutions begin

I made a good start today on my resolutions.

I cleaned the bedroom of the scattered rubbish and threw out an entire black sack full!

The new 'Diet' has also commenced - have been eating healthily so far today;

Breakfast: A bowl of Special K with Skimmed Milk (173kcal)

Lunch: Ham, Tomato and Cucumber sandwich on wholemeal bread, No butter/spread (270kcal)
           200ml carton of Apple Juice (89kcal)

Dinner: Jacket potato with Sweetcorn, Tomato, Cheese and fresh onion (625kcal)
           Sliced Peaches (Out of a tin because I am so lazy!) (86kcal)
           Half a bag of Mini-egg chocolate - Ooops (246kcal)

Evening snack: 1 Weight watchers chocolate mini roll (86kcal)
Drinks: Water only

Total Calories: 1575 - Not bad considering the daily allowance is 2000kcal per day

This is tough. If the weather wasn't so bad, i would go for a walk...but it's cold and pouring rain out there, So probably not the best day to begin dieting!
It's the end of the day now, so Day 1 of this healthy diet has begun...and I can feel the effects, My stomach and chest is hurting bad, My head is hurting and I feel sick. Isn't dieting great? NOT.
I will give it a try again tomorrow though, I am determined to eat healthier, I need to shift this extra weight some how.
Even if it is raining tomorrow, I am going to go for a long walk - the fresh air might help me feel better.

Reminder: Find the charger to charge the batteries for the camera - lots of stuff to be sold to aid with the resolution of clearing out the bedroom for the minimalistic look!

New Resolutions

Looking back on this blog so far, It seems I have written about everything but my original resolutions, so I have decided to try and get back on track and make some new 'Quarterly' resolutions.
There are many things I need to change about my lifestyle - realistically, I need a total overhaul of my lifestyle, but have realised that you can't do everything at once, I think Quarterly goals will be more suitable.
So for this Quarter (March to June), I aim to do the following:

• Diet: Start eating Healthier - Quite often I skip meals, not eating for almost 24 hours, which makes me feel lethargic, so I end up eating fattening foods like Chocolate. So, preparation of Healthy food in advance will be part of this target.
• Exercise: 2 Mile walks at least 4 times a week - building up to Jogging/running by the next Quarter - I want to see if it is possible to wear-out a pair of shape-up's!
• Weight: Lose 6lbs by 1st April 2012 
• Lifestyle: Spring-clean the bedroom, organise everything properly and sell or throw out everything that hasn't been used in the last 6 months, so it looks tidy and minimalistic by the next Quarter - I can hardly see the carpet!
• Make goals every Quarter - Next Quarter June - September.